Main Cause of the Civil War: A) Slavery B) Economic Troubles C) Soylent Green

Okay, last I checked, Charlton Heston is not a Nazi, is not a Kennedy, is not yet a ghost, and has only played Biblical characters in various movies.

So why the Hell does the History Channel keep showing Planet of the Apes? I mean, it’s not as if it’s even a historical movie, unless you’re talking future history. And while I for one welcome our simian overlords, it seems to me that “history” means “shit that already happened,” not “shit that has yet to happen.”

So, History Channel: What the hell?

Next up: Sci-Fi Channel has wrestling?