Skeptical “I’ve Never”
February 11, 2009 21 Comments
I imagine at least some of you are familiar with the game “I’ve Never,” at least through the “Family Guy” episode that deals with it:
http://www.hulu.com/embed/QHZCG8Hf4ABRWxLnrUwJ-Q
I think it’d be fun to do a version with a skeptical bent. Drinking is optional.
So I’ll start us off:
I’ve never argued with a cryptozoologist.
Dubito Ergo Sum 
I’ve never met anyone who claimed to be a Scientologist.Yet. Well my drink is still full.TRF
I’ve never argued with an alien abductee.I’ve never met a Scientologist, but I have argued with a couple of cryptozoologists (or people claiming to be cryptozoologists) at my blog.
I’ve never discussed Unintelligent Design with a creationist.None of the above apply to me.I can use Sprite instead of beer right? Alcohol tastes fucking weird.
I’ve never been able to change the mind of a global warming denierBut I have once gotten a god believer to start questioning his dogma, his girlfriend didn’t like that.The cryptozoologist, alien abductor and scientologist apply to me also.I’m drunk now.
My turn again. Why not?I’ve never faked out a palm or tarot card reader.Though I’ve had a million plans. I can think of two psychic readers offhand here in town, and I know there are more.I have discussed ID with a creationist at least once, but I’ve never convinced an AGW denier, either, unless convincing myself by changing my own mind counts.
I didn’t say ID Akusai; I said Unintelligent Design. As in, the thing in the Gospel of the FSM.
Hmm. This is the longest time I’ve had a pint in front of me, but havn’t had a sip.I’ve never been ‘touched by God(s)’Although I have shaken hands with a few vicars. I might actually count that, just to have a drink.KoF – Fair play mate, although this knid of game always seems more amusing when people are “merry”. Try Cherry Brandy and Coke, tastes like Cherry Coke (But mines a pint of Leffe (Blanc), if your at the bar). Probably best avoiding it if you intend to make use of your new permit though.TRF
I’ve never met anyone (as far as I know) who believed in Reiki.Meh, I dislike the taste of Cherry Coke.My new permit gets used about once a day, though, and I’ve already used it today.
Okay, KoF, UD. Gimme a break. I haven’t read that book since it first came out.If that’s the case, though, then I’ve never done that, either. I’ve preached the world of His Noodliness, but never spoke about UD.I, too, have never been touched by God(s), but I have met people who believe in Reiki. One of the dance teachers here at Purdue is a big Reiki and newage “energy” woo, and I’ve met at least three of her students whom she’d convinced. One admitted that I probably knew more about that particular subject than she did, but the others did not. Though I suppose one of them I didn’t specifically challenge.
Dance teachers annoy me sometimes. It’s like they’re purposefully ignorant about the body they want to help.Over at my high school, the dance teacher thinks the only purpose of red blood cells is to carry iron. And teaches this to every incoming class.I was the only one who called her out on it last year. That scared me.
Sadly I can no longer say “I have never met an anti-vaccinationist” as of tonight.So i’ll continue with:I have never met a holocaust denier
What? No one wants to play anymore? Pussies.
Cracks open a beer in preparationOoh, thats fightin’ talk boy-o.I’ve never argued with a street preacher although I’ve often wanted too.TRF
I’ve never gone to church.I’ve been in a church, but nobody was preaching or anything at the time.
Slurp. Sigh Finally a drink.Although to be fair, the church stuff was mostly before I was 8, and now only occurs for weddings and funerals.TRF
Weddings and funerals don’t really count, imo. I meant like your average Sunday service.I’ve never met anyone who subscribed to the crap that is Quiverfull.
I’ve never argued The Secret to someone in personAlthough I have done plenty on the internet
Ah, finally something that applies to me! My speech teacher in 8th grade was a Secretard.
Okay, time to catch up. I have never met a full-blown anti-vaxxer, but I did debate with someone at work who thought that there “might be something to it,” though clearly was not 100% sold on the idea.I have never met a holocaust denier.I have been to church. A lot.I’ve also never argued with a street preacher, though I did argue with some dude handing out little Bible cards once.I’ve never met a Quiverfull person.I have discussed The Secret in person, but never with an actual Secretard.Whew.Okay, my turn. I’ve never had an out of body experience.Just lots of hypnopompic hallucinations.
Okay, let’s see…*I’ve never met a Scientologist.*I don’t think I’ve ever argued with an alien abductee.*I’m not entirely sure what Unintelligent Design is…still haven’t picked up the Gospel of His Noodliness. *I’ve never changed the mind of a global warming denier, though it’s the most frequent argument I have with my dad.*I’ve often contemplated faking out psychics, but I’ve never been able to follow through–I’d want to have someone there with me. And possibly a tape recorder. *I’ve never been touched by God.*I’ve never met a reiki believer. *I’ve met some soft antivaxers (parents who like McCarthy or think they know better than their doctors what the vaccine schedule should be), but no one who’s really hardcore about it. *I don’t think I’ve ever met a Holocaust denier, even online. *I’ve argued (briefly) with Shitgrin the street preacher–if handing out cards is technically preaching. *I’ve gone to church many times, and more recently than I would like. *I’ve never met a Quiverfull, though there were some commenting at Possummomma’s a little while back.*I’ve never argued The Secret with a believer in person, but I have vented about it to people of various levels of interest and agreement. *And I have had a mild out of body experience. After I got in a minor car accident in high school, I was on a muscle relaxant called Soma for a few days (the “Brave New World” fan in me was amused by the name). At one point, while on the drug, I walked up the stairs and felt like I was piloting my body remotely from slightly over and behind myself. It was a bizarre sensation, and not particularly pleasant.I think I’ve only had one hypnopompic hallucination; at least, there’s only one I remember. I’m asserting my turn again: I’ve never argued with a perpetual motion machine believer/inventor.
UD is the argument that our designer was stupid and/or on drugs.Thus, we were designed by the FSM after He drank a little too much out of His beer volcano.