Nope, just born once

Quick question: I was brought into this world through the natural beauty of a cesarean section. So, let’s say hypothetically that I confessed my sins, accepted God’s existence, and allowed Jesus to come into my heart as though it were a Holy Ghost Trap. Since I was never actually born the first time, would I be “Born Again”? Or would I have to go through the process twice in order to call myself a Born-Again Christian?

Inquiring minds want to know…

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8 Responses to Nope, just born once

  1. Akusai says:

    I guess it all depends on your definition of “born,” and since “born again” uses a wildly different definition of the word than its use in childbirth, I don’t see why you wouldn’t be fully justified in tweaking the latter definition to fit your own specific circumstances.It all depends on how MacBeth you want to get, I suppose.

  2. You could call yourself a Born-Once Christian. Or, if you don’t want to go through any of the baptism process, perhaps you’d be an Unborn Christian. That would make you a kindred spirit to all those poor little souls whose Satan-worshipping mothers want to abort them.akusai: I never thought, until Birnam Wood came to Dunsinane, that I’d see someone in the blogosphere who admits to knowing Macbeth.

  3. Randy says:

    Well, I don’t know how much weight Constitutional precedent carries into a religious discussion, but if, according to the Fourteenth Amendment and its interpretation, “all persons born or naturalized in the United States” includes corporations, I don’t think the passing-through-a-vagina part is necessary for being considered “born”.

  4. Doubting Tom says:

    I never thought, until Birnam Wood came to Dunsinane, that I’d see someone in the blogosphere who admits to knowing Macbeth.So foul and fair a reference I have not seen. Actually, I just watched Kurosawa’s “Throne of Blood,” a Japanese adaptation of Macbeth, so that’s probably why I was thinking about this in the first place. Then again, they pretty much left Macduff and the “none of woman born” stuff out entirely. Although I did like the additions to the reasoning behind cutting down and marching with the trees, and why Macbeth is so concerned about Banquo and Fleance. Good film. Randy: While that’s neat, somehow I don’t think right-wing Christian churches would defer to the Constitution in most cases. Wonder what the Bible has to say about people who were from their mothers’ wombs untimely ripp’d.

  5. Infophile says:

    I’m just taking a wild guess here, but I’m betting somehow a C-section is a huge sin and scars you for life, so you’re never technically born at all.Of course, the whole “born-again” thing is bullshit anyways. One survey a while back found that around 48% of evangelical Christians were “born-again” before the age of 13.

  6. Randy says:

    Wonder what the Bible has to say about people who were from their mothers’ wombs untimely ripp’d.Well, let’s see, there’s that famous quotable bit about “rendering unto Caesar”… could that count in some way?

  7. Dikkii says:

    It’s funny – I always thought that the line about not being born of a woman was from Julius Caesar, not Macbeth.Consider me edumacated.

  8. vjack says:

    When someone tells me they’ve been “born again,” I reply, “Oh that’s great! So how old does that make you?”

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