Main Cause of the Civil War: A) Slavery B) Economic Troubles C) Soylent Green

Okay, last I checked, Charlton Heston is not a Nazi, is not a Kennedy, is not yet a ghost, and has only played Biblical characters in various movies.

So why the Hell does the History Channel keep showing Planet of the Apes? I mean, it’s not as if it’s even a historical movie, unless you’re talking future history. And while I for one welcome our simian overlords, it seems to me that “history” means “shit that already happened,” not “shit that has yet to happen.”

So, History Channel: What the hell?

Next up: Sci-Fi Channel has wrestling?

10 Responses to Main Cause of the Civil War: A) Slavery B) Economic Troubles C) Soylent Green

  1. Bruce says:

    Heston: “I’m not a real prophet. I just play one on TV”. Or space/time traveller…or ghoul fighter…or…?Came here link hopping (started at Atheist Experience; great podcasts outta Austin TX). Saw your blog name & comment that “I think it means something in Swahili…”That kicked off a word association for me. “Dubai think, therefore I am”. Then “…therefore Iran”.And, “Dubai think…but Dubia (Dubya) don’t…er, doesn’t” Then WD-40 (a spray lubricant): The man, his grade average & his IQ.STOP ME…before I pun again!K. I think that’s it. Now I’ll go read some of yer blog awready.

  2. Bruce says:

    Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert!= = ====Soylent Green…is made from PEEEEPUL!

  3. Filby says:

    That’s the problem with niche networks. By their very nature they can’t attract a wide range of viewers, so they inevitably end up showing stuff that has nothing to do with their original mission statement. Thus, TLC is all about makeover shows, the Discovery Channel is mainly stuff getting blown up, and the Cartoon Network is showing Saved by the Bell.

  4. Bronze Dog says:

    One thing I really hate is that Sci-Fi shows that “Ghost hunters” crap and such, which is sci-fi that falsely claims to be science reality.

  5. Akusai says:

    I got uber-pissed when the History Channel ran a show on how there’s a black hole at the center of the Earth and other ridiculous nonsense and interviewed John Hutchison as a “Scientist.”He claimed that the Bermuda Triangle was a black hole.

  6. Doubting Tom says:

    Bruce: great to see some new blood. I watch the Atheist Experience fairly regularly on Google Video (though not so much the three-episodes-a-day that I was doing for the last couple of months), and I dig it immensely.Filby: At least Discovery still has quite a few science-based shows, like Mythbusters and Big Science and whatnot. I think that’s the advantage of a name like “Discovery,” the mission statement isn’t quite as clear, so you can accept that “Dirty Jobs” and “Biggest Catch” fit under the same umbrella. But yeah, when I started seeing live-action stuff on CN, I got more than a little miffed. The problem isn’t so much that these networks are showing things that don’t fit with their niche, it’s that other channels are showing things that do fit. For instance, I think the only Star Trek series that Sci-Fi Channel shows is Enterprise, which is a travesty. The greater travesty is that Spike shows three of the other series, and G4TV has the fourth (which is, in fact, the first). If other channels, some of which I’m reasonably certain are owned by the same company, can find reason to air Star Trek, why not the network that was created to air shows like Star Trek? Let Spike have the various Wrestling shows, and give the sci-fi to Sci-Fi.BD & Akusai: I started losing respect for the History Channel as a reliable source when the people that Penn and Teller unabashedly called cranks and nutjobs started appearing as experts and reliable sources. Seeing moon landing denier Ralph Rene and crucifixion crackpot Fred Zugibe on History Channel shows as if they’re actually experts on anything left me with the impression that they’ll basically air anything. And that really hurts them for when they show something that is accurate and does have value. For every JFK assassination video where computer analysis and detailed scientific study proves that there was, in fact, just one gunman, there’s a Shroud of Turin documentary where Fred Zugibe is portrayed as a Christian scientist and expert, and the ultimate conclusion is “well, all the scientific tests and simple logic and aesthetics tell us that this is a hoax from the Middle Ages, when hoaxes were common, but some people buy into it, so it’s really anyone’s guess.” Oy.

  7. Ryan says:

    Let Spike have the various Wrestling shows, and give the sci-fi to Sci-Fi.It’s a mess, so try to follow me here:WWE programming was featured on Spike TV from (I believe) 2002-2005, a time period that the business was not quite as popular as it was during the 1995 – 2000 time frame. When it came time to renew the contract, Spike didn’t think WWE RAW was worth as much as Vince McMahon did, so he took his wrestling show to the USA Network which is owned by Viacom, who also owns The Sci-Fi Channel. Business picked up, and Vince sold an idea for a new weekly show to Viacom, and for some reason, out of all the channels they own the picked Sci-Fi to air it on. The wrestling program on Spike is a competitor of WWE so it’s very unlikely Vince will air his programming on Spike while that’s happening.[/wrestling nerd]

  8. Doubting Tom says:

    The wrestling program on Spike is a competitor of WWE so it’s very unlikely Vince will air his programming on Spike while that’s happening.You know, that may be the case with Vince McMahon, but for some reason it’s not the case with Cartoon Network and Warner Brothers. Get this: Cartoon Network and DC Comics are both owned by Time-Warner. Cartoon Network decided to cancel Justice League Unlimited and Teen Titans because they didn’t want to pay the licensing fees, and wanted to concentrate on their own original programming. Not more than a few months later, they picked up a Fantastic Four series, based on Marvel Comics characters, the main competitor of DC Comics and thus a competitor of Time-Warner. And, to rub just a little more salt into the wound, now Kids WB (the last bastion for DC licensed shows like The Batman and Legion of Super-Heroes) is picking up a new Spider-Man series! Why is Time-Warner canning shows that promote their own characters in order to give time to shows that promote the competition? Arrrg!

  9. Bronze Dog says:

    Now that’s crazy.Not that I don’t mind a bit of Marvel after seeing a lot of DC.

  10. quantumberry says:

    “…and music still on MTV.”(Heard Bowling for Soup today and realized I’d missed my cue.)

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