I’m a fundamentalist!
April 5, 2007 4 Comments
That’s right, it hit me today. An epiphany, you might call it. I realized, all of a sudden, that I was a fundamentalist. And now I hope you’ll join me in the fundamentalist’s creed:
I believe in gluons, the Strong Nuclear Force,
the binder of nuclei and quarks,
and in Weak interaction, the only other nuclear force, our bosons:Which are responsible for Beta decay,
transmitted by the W and Z bosons,
and with Electromagnetism,
it merges, unifies, and is Electroweak.This is at very high energy.
At low energy, two forces again rise from the third.
With ascending energy levels
and the prospect of finding the God particle at almighty CERN,
we shall judge all forces to be aspects of one unified theory.I believe in Gravity, the curvature of spacetime,
the graviton particle,
the schism between quantum and relativity,
the unification of physics,
and inquiry everlasting.Ampere.
Okay, it’s lame, but it’s kind of funny, right?
…Right?
Dubito Ergo Sum 
Some friends and I formed our own little “Church of Spirits”. This is our “prayer”.Our lager,Which art in barrels,Hallowed by thy drink.Thy will be drunk,(I will be drunk),At home as in the tavern.Give us this day our foamy head,And forgive us our spillages,As we foregive those who spillagainst us.And lead us not into incarceration,But deliver us from hangovers.For thine is the beer,The bitter and the lager,For ever and ever,Barmen.We also have,From Lager 23:4-6(Recited by Deacon/Cardinal/Grand Pubba)23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the vineyard, I will fear no spirits: for thou art with me; thy alcohol content and my dead brain cells they comfort me.23:5 Thou savest a table before me in the presence of mine buddies: thou givest us coasters, and chairs; my cup keep gettingeth refilled.23:6 Surely drunkenness and hangovers shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the BREWERY for ever.We only get together every couple of months, but we have an interesting time when we do. ;-)-Berlzebub
Hilarious. I’m personally quite fond of the Pooflinger’s Pasta 23:1) The Flying Spaghetti Monster is my buddy; I shall not starve.2) He maketh me to lie in green parsley: He leadeth me beside marinara.3) He filleth my stomach: He leadeth me in the paths of satire for entertainment’s sake.4) Yea, though I walk through the world of the low-carb craze, I will fear no diet: for thou art with me; thy noodly appendage it comforts me.5) Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of Parmesan: thou annointest my salad with oil; my beer foameth over.6) Surely meatballs and garlic will follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of good food forever; RAmen.
I always joke with students that they can put a prayer on their cheatsheet, if they think it’ll help. This one would do double duty!-CJV
Yes, it’s funny.