Bumper Sticker Theology
September 24, 2006 9 Comments
There’s a car loaded up with anti-abortion and “Yay God!” bumper stickers that is often in the parking lot outside my girlfriend’s dorm. One of these stickers says “It is a child, not a choice,” not unlike the back of every Covenant Transport truck (when you absolutely need it to arrive in 40 days and 40 nights, call Covenant Transport!).
One of the other stickers says “Children are a Gift from God.” My immediate thought upon reading this was “well, then abortion is just ‘re-gifting.'” In this day and age, if God can’t show the common courtesy of finding out whether or not you want that gift, or at least give you a gift receipt, then he shouldn’t be surprised to get it back the next time there’s a holiday.
But the more I thought about it, the more apt that metaphor seemed. See, for the whacknut fundie assclowns who believe that shit, that’s exactly how it is. Children are a gift from God, and women? Women are wrapping paper. Their only purpose is to open up and bring forth more ‘gifts.’ And if it comes down to a choice between the gift and the wrapping? Well, duh, who wants wrapping paper?
So thanks, bumper sticker bumpkin, for showing me the world’s most efficiently-worded anti-abortion misogyny.